DT Rants

When I talk about the baseball gods, some of you might take me for an evangelical idiot, preaching about my heathen gods, but if you have doubts that the baseball gods exist after yesterday’s game, then there’s nothing I can do to save your soul.

Yes, we lost the field to cricketeers. Yes, we were forced to play in the alternate field that was riddled with bumps and potholes, the earth cracked in places because it was soiled in clay. Rocks and debris strewn along the base paths. Yes, it looked like we were badly short of numbers. We were tested, but we showed our mettle. The clouds loomed overhead and threatened to open a downpour of herculean proportions, but we stayed. And the baseball gods looked down on us, saw the mighty 15, proudly worshipping the holy game, and they were pleased. The chorus of the faithful resonated to the heavens. In return, they blew away the storm, and they hid the sun behind the clouds, leaving us with clear weather. I have never seen the like. One moment, it looked like a thunderstorm, the next, the winds changed and the clouds were swept away. In return, they made the ball bounced, hopped, skipped, jumped, fooling infielders and outfielders alike. In return, they gave the meek strength, big bats and basehits. They taught the strong humility and showed irony to the skilled. In return, they let both teams win with mercy scores. The baseball gods had no favourites this day, blessing both sides with brilliant plays, bonehead errors and monsterous hits. It was a wonderful game. It IS a wonderful game.

Jason had a career day, pounding out two homeruns, numerous basehits and making good stops at third. He is the man to watch out for in the near future, and while he is still a good ultility man to put in any defensive position, he needs to find a place to call his own. His fiance (We just found out) Diana, has carved her niche at second base. She’s got a good glove and arm, and as she proved yesterday, a hell of a bat. She was batting in the high 800s in the first game and got on base 5 out of 6 times. All she has left to do is to stop Rube’s opposite-infield-homerun. Not one to settle for second place, Horfun turned around and showed her bat in the second game, taking a leaf out of Diana’s book. Horfun’s may be improving slowly, but she’s doing it at her own pace, and slow and steady does win the race. She has amazing reflexes behind the plate, catching foul tips with aplomb. All she needs now is more power in her throw and we’ll soon have a celebrity deathmatch at second base.

Rube and Gilbert proved that hustle is all you need to score runs. Rube, scoring a homerun off an opposite-field-infield-grounder. Gilbert was outstanding, he led the TWOs to a mercy win in the first game, and then, when he got traded, he led the ONEs to a mercy win in the second. He is our own version of Ichiro, taking extra bases on singles, and scoring at home on doubles. He runs down every ball in the outfield, and he never lets up. It’s too bad we don’t see him very often. His work ethic is amazing. Seven aka Scooterboy proved again, that he swings the other way. He batted 5 for 5 on the left side of the plate, and 0-3 on the right. He’s not a switch hitter. He’s a lefty. Come out of the closet Dom.
There was a face-off in the TWOs outfield, with Marvelous and P-Daddy dueling each other for the tinglove. In the end, Ironman ran away with the award for the ONEs. Most of it was not his fault though, the ground played havoc with the bounce, and many a easy one-hopper was deflected or veered away from his glove at the last minute. All the outfielders were tormented by the ground. Most of the time, they had one eye on the ground watching for potholes that would sprain ankles, and the other eye on the ball, and the third eye on the bounce. Needless to say, a double into the outfield usually meant a homerun for the batter. The infield was equally plagues by bad hops, but not as much. In fact, the best fielding position was the pitcher’s as he didn’t have to deal with an erratic bounce.

The kill-Rickey award goes to Gilbert and Rube. Gilbert hit a linedrive right up the middle, towards the pitcher’s chest. That hit would have blown a hole in anyone’s body. If it had been Rickey at the mound, he might have died. As it were, Rube made one of the best reflex catches I have ever seen. He seemed to have plucked the ball out of the air nanoseconds before it made contact with his body. It looked almost like Darth Vader’s deflection of Han Solo’s blaster shot on Baspin city. The ball was struck so well by Gilbert that the ping of contact and the thump in Rube’s glove was almost instantaneous.

Overall mercy wins for both teams meant that the teams were quite even. The only difference was Gilbert playing for the winning team in the first game, then being traded to the winning team in the second game. The TWOs also lost Guppy in the second game. Mostly, the ground was the deciding factor for both games. The ball bounces both ways and for the first game, the ball bounced for the TWOs, and it turned around and bounced for the ONEs in the second game.

Road Trip

Look at this picture. This is the beach on Bohol, Philippines. Doesn’t it look simply lovely. On Bohol, San Miguel beer costs about $0.50 on the street, and $0.85 at a bar or restaurant. For $50 a day, one can live and eat like a King (or Queen). Street vendors sell freshly barbequed pork and chicken, marinated in a succulent gravy of fresh herbs and spices. Freshly caught seafood is in abundance, costing a fraction of what we’d pay for in Singapore.

Barbequed Chicken

Lechon

Meat on Sticks

ALOT more meat on sticks

Seafood Buffet

Point, Grill and Eat

All you need is Beer

25 March 2006 – JEFFY likes to eat apples

ONES: 1B: Rube; 2B: Horfun; 3B: Jason; SS: DT; LF: Heidi; CF: Iron Man/Gil the Gazelle; RF: Seven
TWOS: C: Guppy; 1B: Rickey; 2B: Diana; 3B: The Generalissimo; SS: Clement; LF: P-Daddy; CF: Gil the Gazelle/Iron Man; RF: Marv-elous

Game One (4 Innings, mercy)
ONES: 11
TWOS: 26

Game Two (3 Innings, mercy)
ONES: 17
TWOS: 5

There was a formal cricket match on the field, so we went to the alternative one (opposite Rube’s place). On that rough ground – the land of insane bounces – we had our first real game of the year. Thanks to the Montfort alumni, we had 15 players and didn’t have to shut down a field. As the scores reflect, it was fairly ridiculous. Any ball to the outfield had the opportunity to skim, bounce, go left, go right, smack Marv-elous in the face, etc. It got ugly in both games, but in the karmic nature of Saturday softball, both teams got a chance to suffer and a chance to make it look easy. But, the real news was the joy of being able to play with a full field.

NOTES:
1) Diana was on fire in game one (5-6) and Horfun was on fire in game two. They made the difference when their teams were batting, playing the key role in mercy-ing the other teams; 2) P-Daddy (Patrick) better learn to keep his trap shut. When he started yelling at Marv-elous about a blown outfield play, he gets it worst. Karma, baby; 3) Gil was his usual speedy self; 4) DT made some great DY-style plays while pitching against his own team. He also fought off a ball against the shins (as did Horfun too) to throw out a runner at 1B, but perhaps the weirdest one was an easy grounder from Rickey that bounced over his head; 5) Rube had another infield homer; 6) Blood pressure check: Rube, DT and Heidi all looked like they were would burst a blood vessel in their heads in game one when the twos scored 12 or 13 in one inning. 7) Hey, Iron Man.. wake up. Gil caught you sleeping with a patented Venezualan Jaguar move (and the Jaguar also almost burst a blood vessel on that one too); 8) Seven continues to bat well from the left; 9) Jason got his usual quota of homeruns.

MBP: Gil the Gazelle
Gold Glove: Clement
Best Bat: Diana/Horfun
Biggest Bat: Rube
DY: DT
Drama Mama: Rube (catching a line drive at his chest while pitching)
Bonehead: Iron Man

Japan are the TRUE World Champions

Japan won the WBC by beating Cuba 10-6 in a very exciting game. I’d love to be able to watch it.
You can find a lot of coverage here.

SI winners and losers
SI New World Order
SI Good Show
SI Top of the World
NYtimes

My favourite line comes from the NYtimes article. The last paragraph to be exact.
“Despite having only two major leaguers, Japan won the tournament. Despite having no major leaguers, Cuba finished second. The United States feels it has the best players in the world. In this tournament, that was untrue. Japan, as the flying flags showed, was the class of this classic.”

Brokeshin Mound

–>

When one Man

With a Large Stick

Swings the Other Way

Words will be Spoken

Issues will arise

There are no secrets between them

DT Rants

Beautiful sunny, lovely empty field, short numbers. That’s the new war cry of saturday softball. But as usual, the few, the strong and the brave will prevail. And with Gretzky, Diana and Rube volunteering to play all time defensively, we managed to put together a good game. With three out of nine players taking the field, it left each team with only 3 batters, so ProfZen rules (so named in memory of Prof Zen who invented it) and Rube rules were in effect, we played reverse double of nothing. Horfun did a great job recruiting by getting her vietnamese language classmate from Canada to show up. And Stephen brought his fellow exchange student Stephanie as well. They both contributed significantly to the game and we really hope they show up again. Sadly, they will only be here till May, but they were here since Sept. I guess it takes Horfun a couple of months to get her courage to ask a guy out ;).
When I say they contributed to the game, we have to mention Stephen allowing Rickey a homerun (bad leg and extra slow baserunning considered). Rickey hit a deep fly ball past Stephen and somehow, managed to limp all the way home. To make up for the humiliation of the new guy, Stephanie extracted her revenge on Rickey by hitting a shallow pop fly just over his head at 3rd base. It was perfectly weighted and perfected struck to reach a trajectory just out of his glove.
Gretzky and The Generalissimo had the biggest bats all day. They were beating the stuffing out of the ball, and going deep and into the empty spaces. I swear Heidi was going have an aneurysm our there in LF. I could hear that vein in her forehead throbbing from way over in the infield.
We switched around a little in the second game. Removed Rubane, and shut down RF instead. This worked out slightly better for the ONEs at first, but in the third inning, the TWOs big bats were simple overpowering. The ONEs were shut down mercilessly.
Play of the game must go to that Indian-National-Foreign-Construction Worker. He pulled a liner high into the sky that never came down… literally. The ball got stuck in a tree, wedged perfectly between two branches. Everyone took turns to knock the ball down, and EVERYONE missed. A foreign construction worker finally came along, weighted the ball in his hand, and let it fly. His first throw, hitting the branch holding the ball, and it was released from its grasp to finally fall to the earth. How ashamed should we feel that this guy just steps up and makes an accurate throw, while we, who play every week, cannot make the same?

18 March 2005 – Just another day

ONES: C: Horfun; P: Dom; SS: DT; 3B: Horfun/Rickey/Heidi; OF: Heidi/Nigeypooh/Rickey
TWOS: C: Steph; SS: Venezualan Jaguar; 3B: New Guy (Stephen); OF: Patrick/Marvelous
All Time: 1B: Rube; 2B: Diana

Game One: (6 Innings)
ONES: 6
TWOS: 18

Game Two: (3 innings):
ONES: 0
TWOS: 6

It was a good old fashioned butt-kicking. The TWOS had the Jaguar, Patrick and Marvelous batting back-to-back and they were too much to handle. Add in the newbies, Stephanie and Stephen (what’s with all the Chinese-Canadians?), who occassionally got on base, and the ONES were done. Played “Rube Rules”.

NOTES:
1) Heidi was having trouble in the outfield. If she waited for the bounce, it skimmed along the ground; if she got down to take the grounder, it bounced over her head. Space in LF was huge too. Lots of running.; 2) Rickey played OF with no major snafus; 3) Props to Diana and Rube for playing all time in the field; 4) The Generalissimo was on fire yesterday; 5) Patrick was trying to be Smoov P with his new teammates; 6) Rickey hit a massive homer to right field, should have gone home after that; 7) All the guys on the ones hit at least 2 homers each.

MBP: The Venezualan Jaguar
Gold Glove: The Venezualan Jaguar
Drama Mama: Nigey-pooh (caught a foul ball barehanded)

Combating Obesity in America

Eat UNTIL you die.

15 pound burger
Restaurant overdoes it once again, with 15-pound burger

Wednesday, May 04, 2005
By Alana Semuels, Pittsburgh Post-Gazette

CLEARFIELD, Pa. — It foiled even the doughnut-eating champion of the world.

Andy Starnes, Post-Gazette

Dave “Coon Dog” O’Karma can eat 80 doughnuts in under six minutes, but even he couldn’t manage a 15-pound cheeseburger.

Concocted by the chefs at Denny’s Beer Barrel Pub, the burger might help the pub defend its Guinness Book of World Records status as the restaurant with the world’s biggest hamburger.

Denny’s big burger lineup includes a 2-pounder, a 3-pounder and a 6-pounder.

If you can eat the 6-pounder in under three hours, you get the burger for free, along with a commemorative T-shirt and your names on a wall of fame. So far, the only winner has been a 100-pound female college student.

But owners thought a 15-pound burger would attract more customers and be a good option for families, parties and anyone who up for a challenge.

The challenge is simple. Just polish off the newest monster burger in under five hours and you win $350, a T-shirt and your name posted on the pub’s wall of fame.

You also get the burger for free, which is not bad, considering it costs $39.95.

Fries are extra.

“Every restaurant needs a gimmick — ours is big burgers,” said Dennis Liegey III, son of the restaurant’s owner, and its vice president.

Visitors have come from as far away as Australia and California just to see the 6-pounders and try to eat them. They sell about 30 a week.

The newest burger, dubbed the Beer Barrel Belly Buster, is as big around as the inside of a car tire and should be approached with relish.

A cup and a half, that is. It also comes with a cup and half each of mayonnaise, mustard and ketchup, a head of lettuce, two onions, three tomatoes and 25 slices of cheese, which go on 101/2 pounds of ground beef and a bun that is made by a local bakery.

The burger starts out, as burgers typically do, as a large slab of raw ground meat — 280 ounces of extra lean beef shipped up from Pittsburgh. That’s enough beef to make 70 McDonald’s quarter pounders.

Kitchen manager Matthew Williams mixes in eggs and bread crumbs and other ingredients he won’t disclose to hold the beef together, and then puts it into an auto sham — basically a big broiler — for 21/2 hours while the grease sizzles and jumps in the pan.

After it is good and cooked, he lifts the Jabba the Hut-like lump of meat with a pizza shovel to the grill to charbroil it. From there, the burger is lifted again to the condiments counter, where it receives its dressings, which weigh another 5 pounds.

“I’m a little sore,” said Williams about the heavy lifting. “It’s a workout.” He made the first burger Friday night and has perfected the system to prevent the beef from crumbling.

The comment he most often hears about his giant burgers?

“Holy Cow!”

Professional eaters tried to team up to eat the first burger on Saturday, but were stymied by its sheer size.

Coon Dog, the doughnut champion from Cuyahoga Falls, Ohio, brought a copy of “To Kill a Mockingbird” to the restaurant to distract him while he ate, but it was not enough.

“The only thing that got killed was my appetite,” he said.

He’s eaten doughnuts, wings and hot dogs faster than you can say Coon Dog, but couldn’t even finish the burger with a partner.

In the next few days, the Belly Buster will appear on national television morning shows, in newspapers and on the Internet. It’s great publicity for a small restaurant in a tiny town in mid-Pennsylvania, but not so great for anyone who dares to consume it.

“What’s the point of having a hamburger that’s 15 pounds?” said Madelyn Fernstrom, associate professor and director of the UPMC Weight Management Center. “It’s ridiculous. There’s nothing that is redeeming about it.”

The caloric value of a burger this size means that it should be consumed by about 30 to 40 people, she said. Healthy or not, if you grill it, they will come.

Retired schoolteachers Alice and John Kirn from Wappingers Falls, N.Y., stopped by the restaurant on their way to a family reunion in Minnesota to see the 6-pound burger. The couple have eaten ostrich, camel and crocodile in their journeys.

Just the sight of the burger, which they at first thought was plastic, made their drive worthwhile.

Gushed John Kirn, “It’s one of the seven wonders of the new world.”

What’s better than a Cheeseburger AND a Doughnut?

A Cheeseburger MADE with a Doughnut

For all underweight, malnutritioned, skinny americans the world over. The Final CURE.

Gatewaygrizzlies
GRIZZLIES INTRODUCE NEW FOOD ITEM FOR ’06

March 8, 2006 – The Gateway Grizzlies are proud to announce that they will be adding a new concession item to GMC Stadium for the 2006 season.

The Grizzlies and Krispy Kreme Doughnuts have teamed up to create “Baseball’s Best Burger.” The burger, which was introduced at Gateway’s December 10th sale, consists of a thick and juicy burger topped with sharp cheddar cheese and two slices of bacon. The burger is then placed in between each side of a Krispy Kreme Original Glazed doughnut.

The Grizzlies have added a unique concession item each of the least two seasons. In 2004 “Baseball’s Best Hotdog” hit GMC Stadium. It consisted of a 1/5 pound Farmland 8 inch All Beef Black Angus Hot Dog, topped with two strips of freshly cooked bacon, 1 oz. Sautéed Onions, 1 oz. Sautéed Sauerkraut and ½ oz. Cheddar Cheese Sauce, all on a fresh baked bun. In 2005, the “Swiss Brat” was introduced. The “Swiss Brat” was made up of a Landshire Bratwurst with a slice of Swiss cheese in the middle of it. The cheese was then melted and 1oz. of Sautéed Sauerkraut was placed on top.

“We have had the opportunity to bring in a new concession item for the past two seasons and each of them have been very successful. We look forward to Baseball’s Best Burger and the excitement it will bring to the ballpark,” said Grizzlies General Manager Tony Funderburg.

“We are excited to work with the Grizzlies this season on Baseball’s Best Burger,” said Tina Bryan, Vice President of Marketing for Sweet Traditions, the local area developer for Krispy Kreme Doughnuts. “Our doughnuts have been used in such things as wedding cakes, bread pudding, fondue, and now a hamburger bun. What a fun and unique way to offer our signature Original Glazed doughnut to Grizzlies fans.”

Casey At the Bat

Casey at the Bat
by Ernest Lawrence Thayer ©
Published: The Examiner (06-03-1888)

The Outlook wasn’t brilliant for the Mudville nine that day:
The score stood four to two, with but one inning more to play.
And then when Cooney died at first, and Barrows did the same,
A sickly silence fell upon the patrons of the game.

A straggling few got up to go in deep despair. The rest
Clung to that hope which springs eternal in the human breast;
They thought, if only Casey could get but a whack at that –
We’d put up even money, now, with Casey at the bat.

But Flynn preceded Casey, as did also Jimmy Blake,
And the former was a lulu and the latter was a cake;
So upon that stricken multitude grim melancholy sat,
For there seemed but little chance of Casey’s getting to the bat.

But Flynn let drive a single, to the wonderment of all,
And Blake, the much despis-ed, tore the cover off the ball;
And when the dust had lifted, and the men saw what had occurred,
There was Jimmy safe at second and Flynn a-hugging third.

Then from 5,000 throats and more there rose a lusty yell;
It rumbled through the valley, it rattled in the dell;
It knocked upon the mountain and recoiled upon the flat,
For Casey, mighty Casey, was advancing to the bat.

There was ease in Casey’s manner as he stepped into his place;
There was pride in Casey’s bearing and a smile on Casey’s face.
And when, responding to the cheers, he lightly doffed his hat,
No stranger in the crowd could doubt ’twas Casey at the bat.

Ten thousand eyes were on him as he rubbed his hands with dirt;
Five thousand tongues applauded when he wiped them on his shirt.
Then while the writhing pitcher ground the ball into his hip,
Defiance gleamed in Casey’s eye, a sneer curled Casey’s lip.

And now the leather-covered sphere came hurtling through the air,
And Casey stood a-watching it in haughty grandeur there.
Close by the sturdy batsman the ball unheeded sped-
“That ain’t my style,” said Casey. “Strike one,” the umpire said.

From the benches, black with people, there went up a muffled roar,
Like the beating of the storm-waves on a stern and distant shore.
“Kill him! Kill the umpire!” shouted someone on the stand;
And its likely they’d a-killed him had not Casey raised his hand.

With a smile of Christian charity great Casey’s visage shone;
He stilled the rising tumult; he bade the game go on;
He signaled to the pitcher, and once more the spheroid flew;
But Casey still ignored it, and the umpire said, “Strike two.”

“Fraud!” cried the maddened thousands, and echo answered fraud;
But one scornful look from Casey and the audience was awed.
They saw his face grow stern and cold, they saw his muscles strain,
And they knew that Casey wouldn’t let that ball go by again.

The sneer is gone from Casey’s lip, his teeth are clenched in hate;
He pounds with cruel violence his bat upon the plate.
And now the pitcher holds the ball, and now he lets it go,
And now the air is shattered by the force of Casey’s blow.

Oh, somewhere in this favored land the sun is shining bright;
The band is playing somewhere, and somewhere hearts are light,
And somewhere men are laughing, and somewhere children shout;
But there is no joy in Mudville – mighty Casey has struck out.

“Phin”